opinion

Living the Good Life

So I was hanging with Stuart Lawley on his private jet the other week, winging our way around the country on a frivolous jaunt to clear our heads after the .XXX seminar at the XBIZ Hollywood Conference, when a thought occurred to me: Should I be doing this? Should I be so cozy with this fellow? Will people care that I am in bed, so to speak, with "the devil?" The thought did not last. At that moment, we swooped low over the Grand Canyon and I lost all concern for repercussions or "doing the right thing." None of it mattered anyway. All I knew was that, as great a time as I was having with Mr. Funmeister Lawley — and believe me, the guy can partaaaay — I had to get back to L.A. in a few hours or I would miss my one-on-one dinner with FBI Special Agent Chuck Joyner. That I could not miss. We had a lot of names to go through and a tight deadline to meet.

Of course, my tête-à-tête with Joyner was not a freebie. I had asked for and received a very nice under-the-table stipend for taking time out of my valuable day to share so many of my secrets with federal law enforcement. And no one had twisted my arm, that's for sure. In the seven or so years that I have been dabbling in the porn biz, I've weaseled my way into many "secret" conference calls, been privy to a mountain of "insider info," and been the recipient of thousands of "off-the-record" comments, and it was time to cash in. I had never taken a dime for anything, never received a single perk at all, but there was no longer any reason to resist temptation. My plan was simple: string the feds along with just enough "tips" to keep them productive, but hold back just enough back to keep the green flowing in my direction.

Of course, for those who might be a tad concerned, I am playing both sides. For equal or greater "consideration," I will conveniently forget what I... never knew. Or better, I will conveniently remember something about a competitor. There are so many ways to skin this cat. And the thing is, I am not really providing anything they cannot get elsewhere. Yes, I have been present for many "confidential" discussions, but so by definition, had other people. Everything I know, other people know as well. If I do not make that information worth my while, someone else will, and I will once again have lost out to the lowest common dominator. Never again, as my people are wont to say.

There was, however, one last tricky factor, something that in one way or another I assumed I had to deal with. And that is my supposed reputation as a fighter for industry causes. Well, can I tell you how heavy that loathsome load has become, and how sick I am of defending the little guy? The fact is, and as some have noted, I am not even remotely impacted by either .XXX or 2257 inspections, and frankly, I could not give a shit. So, just to be clear, I am no longer your little secret-keeper, your little behind-the-scenes defender.

My new motto is, "...as long as the check clears." Lawley, of course, deals in cash. As the jet taxied to a stop, he pulled out a thick wad of very serious denominations; it was all mine, and even better, there is way more to come.

Yeah, right.

Copyright © 2025 Adnet Media. All Rights Reserved. XBIZ is a trademark of Adnet Media.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium without express written permission is prohibited.

More Articles

opinion

WIA Profile: Lainie Speiser

With her fiery red hair, thick-framed glasses and a laugh that practically hugs you, Lainie Speiser is impossible to miss. Having repped some of adult’s biggest stars during her 30-plus years in the business, the veteran publicist is also a treasure trove of tales dating back to the days when print was king and social media not even a glimmer in the industry’s eye.

Women in Adult ·
opinion

Fighting Back Against AI-Fueled Fake Takedown Notices

The digital landscape is increasingly being shaped by artificial intelligence, and while AI offers immense potential, it’s also being weaponized. One disturbing trend that directly impacts adult businesses is AI-powered “DMCA takedown services” generating a flood of fraudulent Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) notices.

Corey D. Silverstein ·
opinion

Building Seamless Checkout Flows for High-Risk Merchants

For high-risk merchants such as adult businesses, crypto payments are no longer just a backup plan — they’re fast becoming a first choice. More and more businesses are embracing Bitcoin and other digital currencies for consumer transactions.

Jonathan Corona ·
opinion

What the New SCOTUS Ruling Means for AV Laws and Free Speech

On June 27, 2025, the United States Supreme Court handed down its landmark decision in Free Speech Coalition v. Paxton, upholding Texas’ age verification law in the face of a constitutional challenge and setting a new precedent that bolsters similar laws around the country.

Lawrence G. Walters ·
opinion

What You Need to Know Before Relocating Your Adult Business Abroad

Over the last several months, a noticeable trend has emerged: several of our U.S.-based merchants have decided to “pick up shop” and relocate to European countries. On the surface, this sounds idyllic. I imagine some of my favorite clients sipping coffee or wine at sidewalk cafés, embracing a slower pace of life.

Cathy Beardsley ·
profile

WIA Profile: Salima

When Salima first entered the adult space in her mid-20s, becoming a power player wasn’t even on her radar. She was simply looking to learn. Over the years, however, her instinct for strategy, trust in her teams and commitment to creator-first innovation led her from the trade show floor to the executive suite.

Women in Adult ·
opinion

How the Interstate Obscenity Definition Act Could Impact Adult Businesses

Congress is considering a bill that would change the well-settled definition of obscenity and create extensive new risks for the adult industry. The Interstate Obscenity Definition Act, introduced by Sen. Mike Lee, makes a mockery of the First Amendment and should be roundly rejected.

Lawrence G. Walters ·
opinion

What US Sites Need to Know About UK's Online Safety Act

In a high-risk space like the adult industry, overlooking or ignoring ever-changing rules and regulations can cost you dearly. In the United Kingdom, significant change has now arrived in the form of the Online Safety Act — and failure to comply with its requirements could cost merchants millions of dollars in fines.

Cathy Beardsley ·
opinion

Understanding the MATCH List and How to Avoid Getting Blacklisted

Business is booming, sales are steady and your customer base is growing. Everything seems to be running smoothly — until suddenly, Stripe pulls the plug. With one cold, automated email, your payment processing is shut down. No warning, no explanation.

Jonathan Corona ·
profile

WIA Profile: Leah Koons

If you’ve been to an industry event lately, odds are you’ve heard Leah Koons even before you’ve seen her. As Fansly’s director of marketing, Koons helps steer one of the fastest-growing creator platforms on the web.

Women in Adult ·
Show More